"Change is the only constant in life." -Heraclitus
Anything chugging along, ticketty-boo in your life? Mine either. Some change comes from decisions we make and seem on the surface at least to be within our control, therefore generally more palatable. Others smack us in the face, highlighting that sometimes fate is the one in control and we are just along for the ride.
Even in those instances when we are in the driver's seat, low and behold: unknowns crop up and provide challenge, intrigue, and strong emotions. Knowledge is power, so they say, but the awareness of how little if anything we actually control can send your head spinning. In my case a house move from my cozy and largely predictable home and life in Calgary to an acreage in rural Saskatchewan has been all kinds of change and provided the full gamut of emotions. Did you know that country living comes with more critters than city living? Did you know that a garbage truck doesn't stop at each rural dwelling to whisk away your trash if you leave bins at the end of your driveway? (I won't even mention snow removal but do contact me if you have connections at John Deere.) Did you know that logic and reason do literally nothing to convince young children that new is not always worse and there's no going back? The answer to these questions is probably a resounding "YES!" and yet it's possible to know these things and still be smacked in the face with the slope of the learning curve they demand when they hit simultaneously, as said slope is almost a vertical line. Then there's the guilt at looking around, seeing everything I wanted, asked for and worked to manifest, and bawling and/or screaming because of the overwhelm of the aspects I did not anticipate. Anyway, enough about me! I only share these details in hopes that someone out there is reading this saying "exactly," under their breath and exhaling a sigh of relief that they are not alone.
Change is hard. Best laid plans and such... Unknowns are inevitable and we all occasionally find ourselves as the fool in the tarot deck, stepping into a situation (or a slew of them) that leave us unsure and invite us to try something new. Unknowns present the possibility of failure and humiliation, two things that I for one struggle with.
So what can one do about it? Fail! And try again. And fail again! Adopting a growth mindset can help a lot here. We can tell ourselves, "I don't know how to do it yet." Adding the "yet" is a crucial part of the equation. Acknowledging that learning requires failure can help us make space for doing it wrong a few times in service of developing a broad understanding of the issue at hand. FAILURE IS UNIVERSAL. Just ask a loved one. I can all but guarantee they will have a story or two for you. Regarding the emotional aspect of the difficulty- humiliation or otherwise- the answer is going to be a bit more nuanced. What I can say is that from my perspective, crying is one of the ways that our bodies release energy that needs releasing, as is screaming. Finding a safe space to scream it out (where it won't frighten any family members or cause neighbours to phone 9-1-1) can be cathartic. Crying on a loved one's shoulder is okay and might even enhance closeness/intimacy. And as I'm writing this all as a reminder to myself as much as anything, I'm also remembering that WRITING seems to have the effect of organizing what seems like chaos. Anyone else find that? I can be in a rumination spiral and start journaling and all of a sudden the thoughts that are pure nonsense worries start to filter themselves out and a plan starts to surface on the page.
What I can say is that the moment I think I've got life figured out, something new smacks me in the face. Life is unpredictable. Note to self: it's normal to find a challenge at every turn.
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